


Stay With Me

by Trixie_Baggins



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Family, Happy Ending, Sam Smith - Freeform, stay with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:56:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trixie_Baggins/pseuds/Trixie_Baggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Why am I so emotional?</i>
  <br/>
  <i>No, it’s not a good look, need some self control.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Deep down I knew this would never work</i>
  <br/>
  <i>But you can lay with me so it doesn’t hurt</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay With Me

 

 

It was on the Starkiller Base that Rey had first learned her ability to delve into someone’s mind, and she did so to Kylo Ren. Unfortunately, due to her inexperience with the Force, she did not know how to break this connection. When she was asleep, Kylo Ren would sneak into her dreams, but he wasn’t Kylo there. There he was Ben Solo. The man she never got to meet, the man she would have liked to meet. The man General Organa still believed Kylo Ren could become. She felt bad for Leia, as she had asked Rey to call her. She would not give up the hope that her son was still in Kylo Ren somewhere. It was a false hope, Rey knew, but even so she didn’t judge Leia for it. How long had she held on to the false hope that her family was coming back for her? Too damn long.

Ben would creep into her dreams, whispering enticing things. Begging her to come to him, to save him. And in her dreams, she would In her dreams, she would captain the Millennium Falcon, his father’s ship, and she would bring him home. Normally she would be ripped out of these dreams by reality taking back its hold. Some nights she would wake up angry. Angry at him for invading her sleep and for killing his father. Sometimes she would wake up in tears in the realization that she couldn’t save him. That she couldn’t give Leia Organa back her son. And that fact broke her heart.

Not long after, these ideas started to take over her waking hours. Too often when she was practicing her lightsaber technique with a drone, she could pretend it was Kylo Ren. Too often when she was meditating, her thoughts would wander to Kylo Ren. And too often when she looked at Finn who so obviously loved her, she wished he was Kylo Ren. She found herself wondering what would happen if their roles were reversed. Would Kylo still have hope that she could be saved? Would he search to the very edges of the galaxy and bring her home?

‘Rey!’ it was Finn. ‘General Organa would like to speak with you in her office.’

Being called to the General’s office was never a good thing. Either it meant that she was going to be reprimanded (that was completely possible with the way her mind had been off-task these past few months) or she was going to be given a secretive, dangerous mission (it seemed less likely, but was actually the preferred of the two options).

She walked up to the desk outside the office, but before she could say anything the secretary looked up with a pleasant smile. ‘Go on in. The General is expecting you.’

Oh. That could definitely not be good. ‘General Organa?’ Rey asked timidly pushing the door open slowly.

‘Ah, Rey. Very good. Come in, have a seat. Shut the door, please.’

Rey did so, and sat very quietly, hoping not to antagonize the General. ‘Rey…’ Leia began. ‘I’m not a Jedi exactly, but I am in touch with the Force, and the ways of the Jedi. And I know for a fact that you have been distracted. Your mind wanders to thoughts that you attempt to suppress.’

‘General, I know I haven’t been devoting as much meditation as I ought to my studies, but I’ll do better.’

‘Rey, I know that this problem will not go away unless you deal with it. I love Kylo, I always will, but I care about you as well. You need to challenge him. Bring him home if you can, but kill him if you must.’

‘Leia…he’s your son.’

‘I know. But he made his choice, and you yours. All I ask is that you try to bring him home.’

‘Yes, General.’

‘You can take whoever you’d like as your co-pilot for the _Falcon_. I would not suggest Chewbacca as there is too much animosity between them.’

‘Yes, General.’

‘Or if you’d desire, you can take one of the X-Wings. I’ve given the command to not hinder you in your comings or goings.’

‘Yes, General.’

‘Thank you, Rey. You are dismissed, and may the Force be with you.’

Rey rose to leave, but turned back to Leia when she was at the door. ‘General?’

‘Yes, Rey?’

‘I love him, too.’

‘I know.’

 

*****************

 

 

It was on the Starkiller Base that Kylo had first learned of her Force abilities. They were equal, if not stronger than his own despite the fact she was just discovering them and had had no training. He desperately desired her, not only for her powers, but for her. He knew that he had gone too far, that there was no going back now, but if he had a reason to go back, it would be her. Rey confused him. She messed him up in ways he didn’t know he could be messed up, and made him feel things he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. He needed her, either to be there for him, or to be dead.He could sense her. Her feelings- the happiness, the frustration and the longing. And sometimes when she slept, she called to him, and he came to her in a dream.

In those dreams, he was always Ben. Kylo Ren could not enter the innocent sleep of Rey, nor would he. Deep down, Kylo believed that Rey would’ve been able to save him. He hoped that maybe she would even care enough to do so. But she never came to him. She never begged him to go back with her; to go home. Every time he went to her, Ben got a little bit stronger, and Kylo Ren a little bit weaker. When he dreamed, he dreamed of her. She was by his side, fighting for his cause. Fighting for her cause, which he had made his.

He would wake up from these dreams screaming in frustration and anguish. A Sith did not feel. A Sith did not care. He could not, would not. He was stronger than this. Better than this. Emotions were a chemical defect found in the losing side. Not something that he should feel, and especially not for this girl. She was a nobody, a scavenger from the planet Jakku. She was nothing, except everything to him.

Over time, she creeped into his waking hours too. A merchant had lied to him, and he was going to teach him and everyone who worked for him a lesson. The merchant’s family was kneeling in a line in front of Kylo, and his lightsaber was poised to strike. And then he thought of Rey, and the fact that her family had just left her all alone. He thought of how being alone felt, and he looked at the merchant, his face silently begging Kylo to not take his entire world away from him. And Kylo didn’t. He remembers how loud his lightsaber closing seemed, and he remembers the look of relief on the merchant’s face.

He needed to be alone. He needed time to think, to reevaluate his feelings. He needed to get rid of these feelings. He found himself on a planet on the outer ring of the galaxy. The First Order had been here earlier, and there were no longer signs of life on its surface. It was quiet here, perfect for meditation. Perfect for purging his mind of things unbecoming of a Sith.

His meditation led to only one thought, though. Rey. Rey. Rey. Rey. As constant and unrelenting as his heartbeat. But how did he feel about her? He was in awe, of her powers, of her stubbornness, of her hope. He was concerned about her, if she remained as unfocused as she was going to get herself killed. He loved her. As un-Sith as it was, he did. Kylo Ren loved Rey. But that wasn’t quite right, because Kylo Ren was incapable of love. Ben Solo loved Rey. Yes, that was it.

Kylo could sense her. She was nervous, but hopeful. Scared, but determined. She was…heading straight for him? No, that couldn’t be right. Rey would never attempt something so dangerous as meeting Kylo by himself. But she was. He could sense her, she was getting closer to him, and he was okay with that.

He would be ready for her this time. No longer would he be a slave under her spell. No longer would she hold him back from obtaining the true powers that he could achieve. No longer would he have the constant voice in the back of his head, calling him to the light. No. Once Rey was gone, he could embrace the true nature of the dark side. His true nature.

He heard the ship before it came into sight. It was his father’s ship. No, it was Han Solo’s ship. His father was dead. Kylo Ren had no parents, he was a phantom, alone in the dark with his power. The _Millennium_ _Falcon_ landed, cloaked, but not undetectable.

‘ _Made the Kesel Run in fourteen parsecs, didn’t it?’ he remembered people asking when they recognized it._

‘ _Twelve!’ Han Solo would reply adamantly, and Chewie would second it with a roar._

In the back of his mind, Kylo thought that Rey could do it in eleven. He could sense the caution in every step she took through the forest. She was probing with force, looking for him, trying to use their bond to sense him. And he let her. The sooner they met, the sooner this would all be over.

 

*****************

 

She could sense him, and she could sense that he was alone. Almost as if he was waiting for her. Rey found him sitting in a clearing with his back to her. ‘Ben?’ she asked, barely above a whisper.

‘Ben is dead,’ he replied rising to his feet. ‘I am Kylo Ren, of the First Order, leader of the Knights of Ren.’

‘Ben,’ she breathed again. ‘You know why I’m here.’

‘I told you, do not call me by a dead man’s name, _girl._ ’ He emphasized that last part, because truly that’s what she was. Just a girl. A talented, brilliant, powerful, amazing girl, but a girl just the same.

Kylo stripped off his outer cloak, remaining in just a black tunic that clung to the right places, making him seem taller. Rey had no cloak to shed, still unused to the need of layers. She heard the familiar _bzz_ as he opened his lightsaber, and responded with that of her own. It was a battle hard fought. Each time it would seem that one would gain the other hand, the other would find a new burst of speed or energy and parry their attack. This continued on until both were exhausted they were surprised they were still standing.

All of a sudden, there was a rumbling noise. An earthquake. Kylo had been unaware that there were earthquakes on this planet, but really, between the both of them they should have known. The two Force strongest people in the universe, and they couldn’t sense something as obvious as an earthquake? The ground they were standing on began to shake, and the two were desperate to get back to the safety of their ships.

By the time they made it, Kylo’s had been ruined by a falling tree. There was only the _Falcon_ left, and he had never wanted to set foot upon that ship ever again. But the weather was bad, and night would soon be upon them. ‘If you’d like, you can spend the night here,’ she offered, unsure of why she did so.

And even as he was unsure why she did that, he was equally unsure of why he accepted. Rey would sleep up top where the crew stayed, and Kylo would sleep down below where the passengers (if there ever had been any) would have stayed. There would be the middle deck in between them, and both of them slept with senses heightened, not trusting each other.

‘ _Come to me,’ she offered._

‘ _Save me,’ he begged._

 

*****************

 

 

Kylo and Rey awoke at the same time, with the same amount of alarm. She pushed him away, her stumbling out of the bed and landing on her hands and knees hard. That would bruise later. She had put more force behind the push than she might have originally thought and he fell out of the bed, landing on his side. That would bruise later.

‘How..?

‘Did you..?’

They both asked at the same time. They looked at each other, sizing the other up, desperately searching an answer for the question they refused to ask.

‘I must go,’ he said at last. ‘Snoke will want a report for why I have been gone so long.’

‘Don’t go,’ she asked. ‘Stay with me.’

‘I would, but I cannot.’

‘Yes, you can. If you only wanted to.’

‘I want to, I want this more than anything,’ somehow he had closed the gap between them, and lightly caressed the side of her face. ‘But I am not strong enough.’

‘You don’t have to be strong enough,’ she said, her voice soft. ‘You just have to be brave enough to take the first step. And then I’ll help you be strong enough.’

‘There is no life for me back there, Rey,’ he said, on the edge of tears. ‘How can I look my mother in the eye after what I’ve done.’

She took his hands in hers, and opened her mind to him. She led him carefully through her memories. Every glance his mother gave the _Millennium Falcon._ Every tear she shed in the name of her family. Every prayer she sent to her father, begging him to save her son. Every time she refused to stop hoping.

‘Your mother loves you. All of you, and she always will. Come home, Ben. _Please.’_ The last part wasn’t a request. It was a plea.

‘I’m not ready.’ He held up his hand because she looked she would interrupt. ‘But I could be.’

 

*****************

 

Deep down, both of them knew it would never work. He was on his way to becoming a Sith Lord. He was everything the First Order needed, and he was their last hope to defeat the Jedi once and for all. She was one of the last Jedi Knights and it was on her that the hopes of the Jedi, and even the Republic hung. But they promised each other that they would make this work. They had promised that they would be more than their titles. More than their expectations.

The day came, when Kylo got down on one knee and asked Rey to marry him. The day came when they brought their first child into the world. The day came when the First Order fell, when Ben was finally able to accept his past and look to the future. The day came when Ben, Rey and little Ren went home. And the day came when Leia Organa looked into his eyes, and saw her son.

 

 

_[fin]_

 

 


End file.
